How to Identify Your Purpose (Even If You Feel Lost)
Feb 8, 2025 · Lane
"Nearly 3 in 5 young adults (58%) reported that they lacked “meaning or purpose” in their lives in the previous month. Half of young adults reported that their mental health was negatively influenced by “not knowing what to do with my life."
- Harvard 'On Edge: Understanding and Preventing Young Adults’ Mental Health Challenges'
People are feeling more lost with every passing day. Characterized by a noticeable lack of vision, purpose, and energy towards anything. I'm hearing more and more often that people feel "lost," unsure of what to pursue, uncertain about the future, and questioning why they have been blessed with life on this earth.
​
A Harvard study published in October 2023 listed "a lack of meaning, purpose, and direction" as the top driver of young adults' mental health challenges:
​​​​​
​
Simply hearing the statistic is cause for concern in itself, but I would be willing to guess that you have experienced this firsthand as well in your own life, I know I have.
​
The United States of America used to be constituted—almost defined—by the 'American Dream.' As a citizen of the country, you knew what your life ought to look like: a pursuit of wealth, family, and freedom. It was a clear path forward when these categories were neatly laid out by the nation's culture. However, as time has progressed, we have drifted further from having a national identity and are now left in a continual state of daze and confusion.
​
This was all furthered by the introduction of social media to society. It came with too many new ideas and too many new paths. There's a reason that nations throughout history have always formed around one common goal and direction: that’s how humans were meant to operate.
​​
The exposure to so many new paths and options, while seemingly beneficial, came with many drawbacks, especially for the inexperienced youth. Giving anyone too many options is more likely to leave them confused rather than energized. Decision fatigue is very real, and having to choose between too many possibilities, rather than being liberating, often feels exhausting. This is the exact situation that we are seeing play out today.
​
Our exposure to new ideas has created action paralysis in the upcoming generations.
Action Paralysis: a state where an individual feels unable to make a decision or take action despite having the necessary information and resources
The idea that one must choose the "right path" is leading people further into their comfort zones, making it rarer to see individuals stepping out and just "taking a chance." Many attribute the lack of purpose in young people to laziness or complacency, but I’d argue otherwise.
​
I don't think today's youth are especially lazy. I think they are overwhelmed with decisions to make, so they naturally resort to distractions to avoid the reality that they face. That reality, objectively, is a beautiful one: there are too many options, too many ideas, and too many fascinating paths. But which one ought I to pick? What’s my purpose? Why am I here?
​
We'll get to that, but first, we need to define what actually constitutes 'purpose.'
​
Purpose, in my eyes, is a clear direction and a cause that you are pursuing—or ought to pursue—during your time on this earth. I’ve found through experience that purpose can often be split into three subcategories, or 'types of purpose.'
​
Type 1: Relational Purpose
- What you are meant to do in other people’s lives. How you are meant to interact with your neighbors and what you can contribute to their existence.
Type 2: Impact Purpose
- What you are meant to do in or for the world. What your career should be, where your attention should reside, and what you can provide to society.
Type 3: Divine Purpose
- Why God put you here on this Earth.
Regardless of whether your purpose was divinely predetermined by God or not, we do have free will and the ability to make choices. Along with free will, we have been blessed with the faculty of reason—the ability to use logic. Knowing this, our main objective becomes using these two gifts (free will and the faculty of reason) in tandem, to pursue our purpose (Relational and Impact).
​
Before understanding your own sovereignly decided purpose, we need to understand the Christian purpose.
​
The Christian purpose is tied to all three types listed above. It is not a separate category, because it can—and must—integrate into all three categories to be truly lived out.
The Christian purpose in our lives, fortunately, is the clearest one of all. This purpose was perfectly demonstrated through the life of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. The objective, in essence, is to conform our life to the 'Jesus way.'
"The Church exists for nothing else but to draw men into Christ, to make them little Christs. If they are not doing that, all the cathedrals, clergy, missions, sermons, even the Bible itself, are simply a waste of time. God became Man for no other purpose."
- C.S. Lewis 'Mere Christianity'
We ought to follow in the footsteps of Jesus Christ. Fortunately for us, that doesn’t limit us in any way. The 'Jesus way' doesn’t necessarily mean going into ministry or serving in your local church—though it certainly may—but at its core, the 'Jesus way' is much more. It involves taking the communicable traits of Christ and applying them in whatever career or life path you are pursuing.
We can all become more like Jesus. We ought to.
Now, knowing that our purpose must be in line with the lifestyle of Christ, how do we actually define and identify our own purpose? How do we go from feeling lost, confused, and unsure of the future to feeling confident and exuberant?
​
Firstly, let's acknowledge that our divine purpose will not be fully revealed—at least not in its entirety. God is not going to explicitly tell us why He created us. However, if He does reveal that to you, please let me know. God's ways are far above ours, and coming to fully understand our divine purpose in this lifetime is extremely unlikely.
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts."
- Isaiah 55:8-9
However, we can begin to form a deep understanding of our Relational and Impact purposes. These two will never be as fully established and immovable as the Christian purpose, but rather, they are dynamic purposes to be discovered and built upon across our lifetime. It is natural—and even good—for our purpose to change in different seasons of life. At times, career may be our priority, while in other seasons, family may take precedence. Neither is wrong in its due season, but our purpose during those times is certainly different.
​
Sometimes the most confusing step is simply knowing what questions to ask. Often, we recognize that we lack purpose but don’t know where to start. Here are some reflective questions that have helped me in the past. Read through them and take time to think. What are you meant to pursue in this season of life?
​
Identifying Your Relational Purpose:
• What types of people do you relate to most?
> These are, by default, going to be the people who you can impact the most, and vice versa.
• What types of conversations energize you?
> These topics or styles of conversation will likely be where you can speak into people's lives in the most effective way. If you are energized from serious conversations, it's likely you are the most engaged during them as well. Engagement creates impact.
• What do people affirm about you when speaking with them?
> During conversations, what do people consistently tell you? You're funny? You have words of wisdom? You are skilled at articulating? You know how to connect with people's problems? What is it that you are truly skilled at in the realm of interpersonal communication?
​
Identifying Your Impact Purpose:
• What energizes you and makes you lose track of time?
> These are the tasks and projects that you could work on for 10 hours straight without thinking about going to the bathroom. You are obsessed.
• What have you been passionate about since you were young?
> Often, our greatest talents and passions are found looking back into our past. What has always been a staple in your life from a young age that you were thoroughly engaged by?
• What do people tell you that you are great at?
> This is more trustworthy than what you find yourself to be skilled at. Often those closest to you will notice your gifting more than you do and tell you about it.
​
Once you begin defining your purpose, start aligning your actions with it. Purposeful living isn’t easy, but God gave us logical reasoning and decision-making abilities, and I wholeheartedly believe that we ought to use them.
​
If you'd like to get shorter, weekly essays on topics like this straight to your inbox, click the button below and join the community! I'd love to see you there.
